A few years ago, I had a speaker system installed in my home that runs from the inside of my home to the pool area outside. Recently, I decided to take advantage of this little luxury by spending a little time out by the pool reading a good book and listening to some music. I cleaned off the deck furniture, poured myself a tall glass of ice tea, put some of my favorite CDs in the stereo, flipped the switch and went outside to, as the kids say, "chill."

Life just doesn't get any better than this. However, as soon as I stepped outside, I noticed there was no music coming out of the speakers. I checked the connections to the speaker and sure enough the wires were intact. I then went inside to make sure that the speakers were connected to the stereo. They were. I immediately groaned as I realized the source of the problem - somewhere along the line that runs under the ground between the stereo and the speakers there is a disconnect. The line is either severed or mangled, but in any event, the sound isn't able to get through.

I must confess that I was tempted to whine, "Why me?" Yet, I quickly realized that most of us experience this type of disconnect in some area of our lives. Perhaps, the disconnect is in business. You're putting great effort into marketing your business but somehow, the message isn't getting through to your customers. Or perhaps, you're making an extra effort to be more kind and loving to your spouse or other family members, but somehow, the message isn't getting through to your loved ones. Or maybe, you're trying desperately to kick a destructive habit like smoking, overeating or procrastination but somehow, the message isn't getting through to your brain.

What makes these disconnects even more frustrating is that they used to work. In other words, the same marketing techniques that built your business are no longer working. Or the same romantic interludes with your spouse aren't creating the magic they used to create. Or the positive self-talk that you previously used to talk yourself out of bad habits is now falling on deaf ears. It can be maddening. Face it...With time and erosion, things change.

Find the Disconnect (Part II)

So what do you do about these disconnects? Well, you have two choices. First of all, you can search for the precise location of the disconnect and try to patch it. In the case of my speaker wires, that would mean digging up the floors in my house, half the yard, and the concrete around my pool to find the exact source of the problem. Needless to say, this is a costly way to solve the problem.

Yet, from my experience, this is exactly what many people do about the disconnects in their own lives. They go to extraordinary lengths to dig up the reason for the disconnect. In the business context, this might mean hiring a management consulting to analyze the source of your marketing woes. In a relational context, it might mean enrolling in couples counseling to uncover the source of your marital woes. And if the disconnect involves breaking bad habits, this method might require psychotherapy, meditation or extensive research to determine why you can't put down that cigarette, drink, candy bar, or what have you.

The problem with this approach is that it's expensive in terms of time and money. For example, it could take you years of therapy to discover that you crave chocolate cookies because you began associate love, security and comfort to these treats as a lonely 5-year-old who didn't have any siblings or many friends growing up in suburbia. Even when you do find the true source of the disconnect and repair it, you must go about repairing the damage created by your excavation efforts.

Fortunately, there is an easier way. For example, instead of tearing up my floors in search of the disconnect, I simply bought a new wire, tied it on to the old wire, and pulled the new wire through. Now, I must confess that I'll probably never know where the disconnect in the old wire occurred, but what I do know is that now my speakers are working again. You can use this same strategy in your business, relationships, health, finances, and so on.

Instead of ripping up your entire marketing team, try a different promotion or a different marketing medium. Likewise, instead of ripping up your loved one as a uncaring, unfeeling slob, simply try a new approach. Switch your date nights from Friday to Saturday or spend your romantic weekend getaways in a different city. And the same thing applies to any other disconnect in your life.

Instead of ripping your life apart to find the cause of the disconnect, simply try a new approach to solving the problem and let the music play on.